Left or Right?

Think about it.

What if she doesn’t like you? What if she does like you?

What if she likes you and you go out on a date and you have a great time and you never see her again? What if you see her again and you end up back at her place? What then?

What if you end up back at her place and you really hit it off and it becomes a thing and you leave your clothes at hers and she leaves her toothbrush at yours? What if she takes her toothbrush back?

What if she says her lease is up for renewal and maybe you guys, should, you know, move in together, because, you know, it just kind of makes sense?

What if you move in together and you find a stray dog at the park and you keep him and call him Lucky? What if you don’t go to the park that day? Who’s going to look after Lucky?

What if you invite your folks round for dinner and she says can you pour, darling? and you pour champagne into tall glasses and you say no, not that one, take the one nearest to you, and at the bottom of the glass is a diamond and she says yes! yes! yes! and she cries and your mothers cry and the men all slap each other on the back and Lucky runs round in circles trying to catch his tail, even though he doesn’t understand what’s going on?

What if you get engaged and you set a date and she finds the perfect wedding planner, who plans the perfect wedding, at the perfect venue, and she has the perfect dress and the perfect bridesmaids, and the speeches are perfect, and the cake is perfect, and everything is perfect?

What if you have the perfect wedding and you buy a cute little cottage in the country and have three adorable children and you watch the kids grow up happy and healthy and you cry bittersweet tears when they leave and start lives of their own?

What if you grow old and go for long walks, hand-in-hand, and remember all the wonderful times? What then?

Too risky. Swipe left.

Published in The London Reader “Digital Love 2.0: Rewriting Romance in the Digital Age” Spring 2017

First appeared in Tigershark Issue 10 Summer 2016